so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Randomize
