His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
