The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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