Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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