Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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