3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Randomize
