I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
COCAINE IS GR8
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize