talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
