Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
My dick has a subreddit
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize