You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
