Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
