im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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