super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
