my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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