I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
