Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
