I can tuck mytits in my pants
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I intend to get homeless drunk
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
