apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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