She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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