I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
