I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize