So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize