Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
