I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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