Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Green mimosas i think yes
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
