I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
