her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
