He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
