i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
You can't motorboat a personality
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
