I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize