I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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