butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
