Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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