WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
