Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
