Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
