Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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