i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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