he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize