And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
