I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize