We're facebook friends in real life
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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