There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
