i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
