She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
