Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
