seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
