Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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