Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
