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I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
