Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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