My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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