you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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