sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
