I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
