I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
