Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize