turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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