Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
