I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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