My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
