I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize