once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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