you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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