Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
