Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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