So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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