I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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