Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
porn star boner night. come get it.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
