theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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