Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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