you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
