Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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