just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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