thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
