There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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