I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
two words: eviction party
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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