i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Randomize
