GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
