end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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